Read my articles and books and get to know me even a little and you’ll learn I’m a systems-person, on top of being fairly intuitive.

I admire businesses that figure out how to deliver value across time and space and cultures, especially enterprises that are in traditional “service” fields.

McDonald’s is one such business that has done a spectacular job of providing substantially the same burgers and cleanliness and friendly customer service across more than half a century and around the globe.

And when I worked for an experimental division of that company, named after founder Ray Kroc, I learned how to do things the McDonald’s way, which is a discipline as much as it is a skill.

So, when I went on to become a collector, a salesperson, and a manager of and consultant for these functions along with customer service, I saw the merit in using SCRIPTS, patterned talks that are almost as predictable as how you’re supposed to make a hamburger or clean a counter top.

Why leave the cooking of a meal to chance when you can plan and control its quality nearly every time?

Ditto for conversations. If your intention is to communicate clearly, to sell, or to service, why permit customer outcomes to be random affairs when we can hit the mark, selling and satisfying, with uncanny accuracy?

At this point in my career I am responsible for crafting call paths that have been employed nearly as many times as McDonald’s has sold burgers. I suppose that’s why I’m particularly concerned when scripts sound dumb, when they fail.

As an example, let’s take the supermarket where I do much of my shopping. When handing me my bags the clerk asks, “Would you like help out to your car?”

It’s a nice gesture, and potentially a PERFECT customer service message. It says: “I’m ready, willing, and able to help.”

That’s always nice to hear, and as a general rule it adds GOODIE POINTS to the store’s service account, in the customer’s mind. It builds good will.

(Once, I asked a checker how many times out of 100 customers actually accept the offered help. “Only once or twice” she said.)

I’m a big guy with an athlete’s ego, and when I hear this otherwise sweet and kind offer I think: “What am I, falling apart?”

This comes to mind when I’ve bought only a half-gallon of milk or a six pack of soda. If I need to get assistance to carry those, I’m in big trouble and have to start hitting the weights and the exercise bike!

In other words, the gesture fails and actually backfires when there is so little to carry and the person seems otherwise physically fit, that it sounds absurd.

Scripts are useful, but when you need to NOT use one, to depart from the planned patter, have the good sense to do so, in time.

Same supermarket, but this time let’s look at Script Two. At the bottom of each receipt it says, YOU SAVED whatever the amount is, by logging in your club membership number.

The clerk reads this aloud just before he or she hands the receipt to me.

But once, the person was so much on autopilot with her script that she failed to read ahead before announcing: “And Today, Mr. Goodman You Saved UH-NOTHING!”

That’s right, every single item in my cart was full price, so the script absolutely failed.

And in a way, it impeached the credibility of the entire “savings” banter. If I saved NOTHING, well THANKS FOR NOTHING is what I ended up chortling to myself.

The moral to the story is simple. Scripts work, much of the time, and when we’re lucky, most of the time. But they never work ALL of the time.

Be on your game when an encounter calls for a customized response instead of a memorized one.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is a top speaker, sales, customer service, and negotiation consultant, attorney, TV and radio commentator and the best-selling author of 12 books. He conducts seminars and speaks at convention programs around the world. He can be reached at gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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